Signs your friends aren’t really friends

Signs your friends aren’t really friends

1. You have to be someone else around them
If you feel like you have to be someone other than your normal self around your friends then chances are they aren’t your real friends. We all know this feeling. You go out with these people but you feel like you need to dress or talk differently in order to fit in.

These people aren’t your friends. These people are tools you are using to try and be more popular. And this type of pursuit won’t get you anywhere at all. Next time you meet up with a “friend” take a look at your own mind and behavior and see if you are falling into this trap.

2. You gossip more
Gossip is a terrible thing. It hurts other people and it makes you feel bad about yourself in the long run. One sure sign that your friends aren’t really your friends is when you find that you gossip more around them.

Gossip is, unfortunately, the product of many bad friendships. Often times we meet with people and, after running out of things to talk about, we start talking about the mistakes that other people have made. If you’re friends are making you gossip more it might be time to switch company.

3. You’re moving further away from your goals
Everyone has goals that they want to achieve. Some people want to buy a nice big house, other people want to travel and some of us want a good career. Whatever your goal in life is it should be supported by your friends. They should help you get closer and closer to this goal.

If your friends are taking you further away from your goals then you really need to take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if they are the best thing for you.

4. You don’t notice any positive qualities growing
One thing that you will find happens quite naturally when you hang out with good friends is that your positive qualities will grow and flourish. If you find that no new positive qualities are developing and, in fact, you are developing some negative traits then it is time to be worried.

Friends should bring out the best in you. They should help you to reach new heights, not bring you down to their problems. Take a look at how you feel during and after meeting your acquaintances and see what is going on with you.

10 ways to cultivate a more meaningful life

How can we cultivate a more meaningful life? The answer is usually complicated. It can depend on many factors. I’ve written down 10 ideas that I believe will help you find meaning in your life every day, so that you can’t wait to get up in the morning and see what the day will bring.

1. Know What’s Important

Know what’s important for you. Write down your top 5 things that you believe are the essence of how you want to live life. This can include things like “family time,” or “sing every day.” It could also include more complex ideas, like “honesty” and “simplicity.”

2. Pursue Your Passion

I believe everyone should pursue their passion in life. It’s what makes life worth living, and gives our lives true meaning and purpose. Each time you work on something you love, it creates joy inside you like nothing else. Finding a way to use your passions to give back to the world will give your life ultimate meaning.
If you can’t manage (or aren’t ready) to work on your passion for a living, be sure and make time for it every day. By working on your passion and becoming an expert in it, you will eventually have the opportunity to make money from it. Be ready to seize that opportunity!

3. Discover Your Life’s Purpose

If you had to give yourself a reason to live, what would it be? What would you stand for? What principles do you hold highest? Is your life’s purpose to help others? Is it to inspire others with great works of art, or you words? Finding your life’s purpose is a daunting task, and when I first heard the idea, I had no idea where to start. For methods on discovering your life’s purpose, I recommend Steve Pavlina’s blog entries on the subject. I also recommend reading the article What Makes Life Worth Living.

4. Be Self-Aware

Be aware of yourself and your actions. Remain mindful of what you do at all times, and make sure you are living life according to your principles, your life’s purpose, and what you are passionate about. Review your actions each day, taking stock of those that strayed from your path. Work towards correcting any incidents in the future. Meditation is a great tool for accomplishing this task. It helps us increase our self-awareness throughout the day.

5. Focus

Rather than chasing 3 or 4 goals and making very little progress on them, place all of your energy on one thing. Focus. Not only will you alleviate some of the stress associated with trying to juggle so many tasks, you will be much more successful. Try and align your goal with something you are passionate about, so that there will be an intrinsic drive to work hard and do well.

6. People More Than Things

Often, we are faced with wanting to buy material goods. I recommend you consider carefully what you purchase, and think more about spending your money on experiences with friends and family. Not only will this give deeper meaning to your life by focusing on your relationships rather than material wealth, but you will be a happier person as a result.

7. Live With Compassion

Both for yourself, and others. Keep in mind the following quote:

For some, compassion is the purpose of life, what gives it meaning, and what leads to ultimate happiness.

8. Find a Way to Give Back

Do something that both honors your beliefs and passions, while giving something back to the world. By giving something back, we inevitably find purpose in the act. By cultivating more of these activities, you will find your life has more meaning and purpose behind it.

9. Simplify Your Life

By simplifying your life, you’ll have more time to do what fulfills you and gives your life meaning. It can also help reduce stress and make your overall life easier to manage. It can also greatly improve your productivity. If you’ve never tried to simplify things before, it really is a great feeling.

10. Set Daily Goals

In the morning, before you start your day, create a list of 3 goals that you find fulfilling and meaningful. Make sure they adhere to your set of principles and beliefs. Tackle the hardest things first! Don’t make this list too long. By placing too many things on the list, you’ll feel the urge to multi-task, which is not good, or you’ll feel overwhelmed, which isn’t good either. By trying to do less, you’ll end up doing more.
Doing all of these things at once may seem daunting, but you can pick one thing at a time and slowly incorporate the ideas into your life. Life is about the journey, not the destination. Living a life of purpose gives both fulfillment and meaning to your journey.